Echo Valley Hiking Solar Gnome

The Gnome is Alive

7/28/2009

I speak to you today as I feel like the luckiest man in the world. Lucky to still be alive today. I write this with a very clear mind. Since I discontinued my psychiatric meds a few weeks ago everything is very clear to me now. Brace yourself for this... I believe that the garden gnomes are plotting world domination.

My Echo Valley Hiking Solar Gnome arrived last week. The package appeared to have a glow around it. I sensed the evil within. I did not open it. I left it on the table and went to bed. When I awoke in the morning, the package was gone, but the gnome sat in the center of my table. Staring straight at me. A challenge I thought... Bring it on you 10 inch ceramic creature from hades, no one beats me in a staring contest. I made it 35 minutes and then caved in from the buning. Curse you garden gnome, your power was too great for my mortal staring abilities.
I threw the gnome outside and sprinted to my car. I needed to get away. I stopped a few miles away on the corner of an intersection in a seedy part of town. I closed my eyes. A voice spoke in my head. The gnome had entered my conscious as if it was sitting beside me. It asked me if I wanted company, asked me for money in exchange for a good time. The high pitched voice it was using in my mind will be with me for a long time. I did not open my eyes. Just stepped on the gas. I must have been stopped just before some large speed bumps, I felt them as I accelerated away from that place. The voices were more distant now but yelling obsenities and calling me names.

When I arrived home the gnome was sitting on my front steps. I decided to make contact. I slowly approached but felt awkward. I was unsure what to do with my hands so I held them up in front of my face like a surgeon who had just scrubbed up for surgery. I asked his name. No answer. I decided to call him Cornholio until he revealed his true name.
Cornholio was not looking at me any longer. He was staring across the street toward my neighbor's house. I followed his eyes and spotted two more gnomes across the street. Cornholio had begun to build his army. I must stop him. I knew from the staring contest that Cornholio was too strong for me... but maybe not his new recruits. I ran straight at them screaming at the top of my lungs still holding my hands in my newly discovered surgeon position. I began to stomp them. Soon one of the gnome's human worshipers came out of the house swinging a golf club and yelling very profane language at me. It hurt my feelings. I climbed the closest tree and began to cry from my damaged feelings.

My allies, the police arrived within minutes. I told them about Cornholio and his evil plot. They must have believed me because they took me to a safe house. The safe house had bars on the windows, no doubt to keep the gnomes out.

If you order the garden gnome... be watchful. They will begin to recruit others as soon as you leave the house.
Whatever you do, please, please do not get into a staring contest with them. They are very good, very good indeed.
Watch your back Cornholio. I have a feeling you and I will lock horns again one day. And just so you know I have now earned my warrior name here in the safe house. They now call me Skits O. Frenik.
Beware the gnome....

Not as expected

6/12/2009

The gnome is cute, but very small. The height was not given in the description and if I knew how small it is I wouldn't have purchased it. Also, it said it could withstand the outdoors, but the paint on the hat peeled off after one rain.

Be warned

5/14/2009

I bought this little guy & he looked & worked great. But I also bought two other (much cheeper) gnomes from walmart at the same time. The paint on the walmart gnomes still looks like it did when I bought them - well over a year ago. But the paint job on this solar gnome has completely washed out. The only color left to him is his hat (still much faded)the grass at his feet, and the butterfly. His once red shirt now looks grey, his staff, face, and all the muchrooms have faded to white. So if you buy this gnome anyway, I would suggest spraying him (careful not to spray the solar panel on back) with a clear "outdoor" acrylic sealant - about twice a year. And, strange as it may sound, try to keep him out of direct sunlight as much as possible - unless you dont care if the paintjob fades.

Good find

1/10/2009

This arrived in good condition and was better quality than I expected. Works even on overcast days.

I love it.

12/11/2008

I'm very happy with this product. I would highly recommend it to anyone. The statue itself is very neat and the light lasts for a good amount of time.